nobody knows anything

I work in the financial district here in Dublin, so recently I've been having to jump out of the way of stockbrokers throwing themselves from tall buildings. It would be funny if these jittery clowns weren't in charge of my ever-decreasing pension fund. Anyway here's some uninformed thinking on the impending global recession.

1. Bear Stearns is a stupid name for a bank - anyone investing with them deserves all they get.

2. Every time the news runs a story about the New York stock exchange they show pictures of a whole load of people there applauding. Why are they applauding!? We're all going to hell in a handcart and its their fault!

3. Speaking of the news, each day they run a story saying the markets have plunged, or the markets have rallied. You're wasting our time - just give us a summary at the end of the week - "Monday-Up, Tuesday-Down, Wednesday-Up, Thursday-Down..." Acommpany this with footage of a rollercoaster and Chas n' Dave singing the Laughing Policeman

4. We're all doomed, and nobody really knows anything.

As usual the Onion sums it up best:

Still, theres always music to sooth our furrowed brows. During the great depression people forgot about their worries by dancing the charleston on the roof of the Empire State building, (giant ape attacks permitting) - a scene briefly revived in the 90s by the legendary Doop:

These days we have to content ourselves with the Ting Tings, a band so achingly "now" they're being bailed out by the Fed as we speak...

The Ting Tings - Great DJ

(I would've put their video here, but they've disabled embedding on their YouTube page - FOOLS! THE VIDEO IS AN AD FOR YOUR SONG!!!)

If the Ting Tings are the sound of today, then Cadence Weapon is the sound of the very near future, next Thursday maybe. Great production, novelty Canadian-accent rapping, good use of the phrase "no shit sherlock"

Cadence Weapon - In Search Of The Youth Crew

Finally - I mentioned french oddball Sebastien Tellier a few weeks back, I can now bring you the astonishing news that he will be representing France in this years Eurovision, going head to head with our own rubber-glove-puppet-skanger Dustin. The contest is on May 6th, so hold off throwing yourself off the skyscraper until then...